Free Giveaway

Please see the free ebook:   4 Dating Tips How to Spot Lower Levels of Brain Integration  Read More

New Website Dedicated to Sexual Interaction

Soooooooo, I finally registered “” with google and am making it official!   Eyebrows raise when I mention that I have “another” website called “RedLightHeidi” in addition to GreenLight.  Really the second website came out of my interests in Sex and Relationships category on this website.  I wanted a website where I could post on interesting topics specifically related to sexual wellness.... Read More

Sex Questions? Chronic Illness? Great resource

This website has TONS of answers about anything you might want to know on sex…but I begin with linking to a sex question from someone with a chronic illness:    Read More

Discussing Your Sexual Health with a Doctor, Great Short video

Great five minute video about how YOU should and shouldn’t feel going to a doctor and asking about your sexual health:   photo credit to  Read More

6 min video-how to attract boyfriend/girlfriend you want

I think what he says applies to both men and women. The most important take away for me is that people will mirror how you behave and set your standards.  So decide what you want and go for it, whatever that is!  Read More

Research Says Have More Sex–1 minute video   This video shows you the research that shows some of the many positive effects of having sex.  Read More

Do You Have Any Family Relationship “Cut-offs”?

I want to mention a book that I read called “Extraordinary Relationships: A New Way of Thinking About Human Interactions” by Roberta M. Gilbert, M.D. Chapter six in particular discusses cut-offs which was FASCINATING to me.  Apparently research confirms that when individuals have cut-off from primary family that all relationships in their present day life suffer.  As a counselor, I really have thought about this concept for myself and... Read More

Reality vs the Erotic

“So I think that the unknown is inherent to desire. But faced with the unknown, people can have a few responses: you can stay open to it and welcome the persistent mystery of your partner or you can respond with anxiety. And for me, the question is the issue of certainty. You know, I think love is never certain. It is inherent that the potential of loss is part of love. And if you want to pretend to create an illusion of certainty then you will... Read More

Discussing Sexuality As A Clinician

This is a lecture that I gave for my independent study “Human Sexuality in Social Work Practice.”  At minute 34 (the very end) it covers suggestions on how to ask about sexual well-being in a basic assessment.  They are good questions for anyone to have handy to discuss sexuality with clients.  While the lecture was addressing sexuality for marginalized populations, there is a fascinating section near the beginning on popular cultural... Read More

Principles of Intimacy and Passion

I did this lecture in the spring of 2011.  The first half is Dr. Hawley speaking about the pitfalls of facebook/texting while young and in relationships.  In the second half, for the first part I talk about intimacy and good communication skills, (not necessarily anything new for most people, but I could be wrong!)  THEN in the last part (which is the last 15 minutes) I discuss passion vs. intimacy and how cultivating intimacy doesn’t always... Read More